WEEK 16/17 (part 1) CHAPTER TWO – MKMMA MASTER KEY, CRAIGNITO, AND SUBUCON EACH CONSUME A ROUND RED PILL AND A BLUE RECTANGULAR CAPSULE (both are pills really , but only the blue pill has obviously been filled with something, thus making it a capsule; and yes, the red pill could have been any shape, including rectangular, square, or triangular) SAY, “WHAT THE HECK” AND GOBBLE DOWN A YELLOW AND A GREEN PILL FOR GOOD MEASURE (the shape of which remains to be seen) BEFORE HURLING THEMSELVES (that’s the less accurate way of saying that both were actually pretending to be Keanu Reeves in the Matrix, and, like him, they didn’t make it either) INTO THE RABBIT HOLE WHERE THE 100TH MONKEY IS WAITING THEIR ARRIVAL WITH A HUGE, SUMPTIOUS, SUNDAY FEAST (although it’s really Thursday, please, feel right at home no matter what day it is. I choose Sunday for a reason to be explained later, and to let you know, as did Sally, Meg Ryan, in When Harry Met Sally, what happened to the Sunday underpants.)

To promote continuity, this is the way last week’s dialogue ended:

Craignito: “That’s beautiful, Subucon.”                                                                                          Subucon: “Allow me then to be your bridge, as you undertake this glorious journey. I am a bridge across the troubled waters, the ‘misty flats,’ the chasms, my friend, and since I know you are on a quest to uproot the unholy nest when you get to the high ground on the other side, let me describe what you are up against. No need to look down, my friend, I’ve got your back.”                                                                                                                                               Craignito: (lovingly) “I don’t know what I would do without you, Subucon.”                              Subucon: “You will never be without me, Craignito.”

Subucon defines the dark side: (for the definition, please, refer back to Week 15, which is also Chapter One of this story)

(That said, our story continues the following day)

Subucon: “So, what’s happening, my boy?                                                                               Craignito: “I’m glad you asked.”                                                                                                   Subucon: “Oh, why is that?”                                                                                                       Craignito: “I could say I’ve got to get something off my chest, but as we both know, neither of us has been so lucky; so, I might as well start from the top.”                                                  Subucon: “How are you going to manage that, Romeo, you still need someone on the bottom.” Craignito: “I’m referring to that monstrous title we’ve given this part of our adventure, Sub.  Subucon: “What about it?”                                                                                                            Craignito: “To earn the title for the title, of course.”                                                                      Subucon: “Huh?”                                                                                                                            Craignito: “At a whopping 177words, I do believe that qualifies as Word Press’s longest Post or Page title ever.”                                                                                                                                Subucon: “I would imagine that qualifies as one of the longest titles for anything, anywhere.” Craignito: “What do you think Guinness will have to say, Sub?”                                          Subucon: “You back on speaking terms with the British ale, again?                                  Craignito: “Funny, Sub, funny.”                                                                                                    Subucon: “Okay, you’re right; but I’m afraid that will never be something listed, even if it is a world record. It does, however, prove, once again, how unique you are – just like all of our brothers and sisters on this planet who are also unique – and you will always be a hero in my eyes.”                                                                                                                                                    Craignito: “Just because I’m different, Sub?”                                                                           Subucon: “Because you are not wasting your uniqueness by following the herd and trying to blend in like far too many people have been doing, El Craigo, for far too long, and…”  Craignito: “You mean there’s more?”                                                                                             Subucon: “…and, Napoleon Solo, you continue to undertake one of the riskiest missions on Earth, and…”                                                                                                                                        Craignito: “Even more than that?”                                                                                                    Subucon: “If successful, Captain America, civilization will leap forward at a rate never seen before.”                                                                                                                                                   Craignito: “That explains it.”                                                                                                        Subucon: “Explains what?”                                                                                                         Craignito: “Why you and I pretended to be “the ONE, swallowed all those pills, and then fell into the rabbit hole trying to leap to the other building 50 yards away.”                             Subucon: “I’m not sure 50 inches is quite the same as 50 yards, Mighty Mouse.”            Craignito: “True enough. Of course, if I was wearing a cape or a long black trench coat, I could have gone much further.”                                                                                                             Subucon: “Oh, you think that what you wear makes a difference?”                                   Craignito: “Not exactly. But it does explain one thing.”                                                        Subucon: “You mean there’s more?”                                                                                            Craignito: “Didn’t you just ask that?”                                                                                        Subucon: “No, you did.”                                                                                                                     Craignito: “Did what?”                                                                                                                        Subucon: “Remind me of a man.”                                                                                              Craignito: “What man?”                                                                                                                 Subucon: “The man with the power.”                                                                                               Craignito: “What power?”                                                                                                               Subucon: “The power of hoodoo.”                                                                                                     Craignito: “Hoodoo?”                                                                                                                          Subucon: “You do.”                                                                                                                         Craignito: “Do what…wait…don’t answer that…I have a strange feeling.”                            Subucon: “I should think so, chemosabie. With all the hallucinogens you just ingested, you should be sprouting wings just about now.”                                                                             Craignito: “As I was saying, it does explain one thing.”                                                          Subucon: “You mean there’s more?”                                                                                          Craignito: “Nice try, Sub. It explains why every time I look into the mirror, it’s only you or me I see.”                                                                                                                                                              Subucon: “Oh?”                                                                                                                                   Craignito: “One of us must be a vampire.”                                                                                Subucon: “Vampires don’t exist, Count Dracula. They aren’t real.”                                     Craignito: “But what if they were real and they did exist, Sub?”                                                      Subucon: “I’d say it’s time you finish explaining that TITLE up above, fly boy.”               Craignito: “Which part, Sub? The 100^th Monkey, Sunday, or the underpants?”                         Subucon: “I choose…I choose…I choose…all three.”                                                             Craignito: “Not so fast, Sub!”                                                                                                         Subucon: “Things are starting to spin, aren’t they?”                                                              Craignito: “Yes, that, but you skipped right over the most important part.”                      Subucon: “The rabbit hole?”                                                                                                       Craignito: “That is quite a bit deeper, but, no, the fact that no matter what our circle of influence happens to be, we can all be the ONE – the ONE who can make it bigger and better than it is.”                                                                                                                                         Subucon: “Yes, my friend. Og Mandino, Emerson, Charles Haanel all say the same thing – in different ways, of course – give more, get more.”                                                                       Craignito: “Yes, and as pointed out by Mr. Haanel in 17.12 of the Master Keys:

‘The mind may place the ideal a little too high and fall short of the mark; it may attempt to soar on untrained wings and instead of flying, fall to earth; but that is no reason for not making another attempt.’”

Subucon: “Just think what a flop The Matrix would have been, if Keanu would have stayed down after he fell short the first time.”                                                                                      Craignito: “I don’t even want to think about that (Craignito is having a difficult time thinking about anything at this point), because we’ve got another chapter coming up real quick, don’t we?”                                                                                                                              Subucon: “Ah, yes, the 100^th Monkey. But what happened to the Sunday underpants?”                                                                                                                                  Craignito: “They don’t make Sunday underpants.”                                                                       Subucon: “Why not?”                                                                                                                        Craignito: “Because of God.”                                                                                                             Subucon: “My hero.”                                                                                                                         Craignito: “God?”                                                                                                                                   Subucon: “You, Craignito, you.” 

 (Both of our companions are thinking about Meg Ryan and are laughing loudly as we come to the end of another chapter in their JOURNEY to rescue all of humanity.)